If I could

Mar 29, 2011 by

Today would have been my Mom’s 51st birthday. She would have been hating it!

One of the things I miss the most since she has passed away was simply the ability to talk to her. We had been living so far apart for the last few years that most of our relationship was over the phone rather than face to face. We talked at least once a day, sometimes more. I would call to ask her the ingredients for a recipe or tell her something cute that Andrew did. There were a few times shorty after she passed away that I called her cell phone number just to hear her voice recording.

I miss hearing her voice.

If I could talk to her today I have so much I would tell her.

I would tell her that I have three little boys now.

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I would tell her how smart Andrew is and all the funny things he says. That he is potty trained and how his teachers at school tell me how kind and considerate he is. How he loves to read books and sings worship songs in the car.

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I would tell her that Joshua looks just like her and acts just like Spencer did. That he is into everything but loves when I give him a task to complete. That he lets me cuddle with him when he’s really tired and sucks his two middle fingers. How he has started to say prayers out loud at bedtime, even if it’s just repeating the last word of the phrase we say.

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I would tell her what a sweet sweet boy Zachary is. That he looked just like Joshua when he was born but looks like both boys now. That he loves a little attention and will just smile and gurgle when you talk to him. That he has a dimple just like she did.

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I would tell her what a beautiful little girl Caroline is and how she’e fiercely independent like her mommy! How Joel is so loving and too smart for his own good :-)

If I could talk to her she would call me “honey” and tell me that she is proud of me.

I am thankful for the gift I had in my Mom, and that even though she is gone we have many sweet memories to hold on to.

Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of eternity. I know that this world is a temporary place and someday we will all be together again!

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Funny Boys

Jul 29, 2010 by

Today has been a quiet day around our house. I have some sort of stomach bug that has forced me to do some bonding with the couch and thankfully the boys have been great about playing by themselves so I can rest. It’s late in the afternoon and I have managed to stomach a popsicle and a peach. Poor baby boy is kicking me in the stomach as if to say, “Momma, please feed me something!”

Anyways, the title for this post came to mind two days ago when we were riding in the car and Andrew said something that just made me laugh. I had the thought to sit and write down some of the funny things he has said lately so I can remember them forever!

Andrew Spencer at 2 years & 4 months old ~

• After sitting at a stop light next to another car the light turns green and we both start to go, apparently I wasn’t going fast enough because Andrew said, “Mommy! That car is beeding (beating) us!”

• One morning during breakfast I told Andrew that I had bought tickets for us to go see our family in Ohio and I asked him if he knew how we were going to get there, his response. “On a paceship (spaceship!) To finity and yeond! (To infinity and beyond)

• I went in to get the boys up from naps and greeted them by saying, “Hello, sweet boys!” Andrew responded with, “Hello, sweet Momma! You’re booful!” (beautiful)

• After discovering that he had done something that deserved a discipline Andrew held up his hand to me and says, “I have my discipline here.” (Wanting to avoid having it on his rear end!)

• We had eaten snacks in the car one afternoon and Andrew left his snack bowl there. After discovering it a few days later he says, “Mommy, I want some cratoons (croutons) in my bowl and eat them in the libin’ room (living room) and watch Petting Farm.”

• Talking about the baby on the way I asked him what we should call the baby, after a second he said, “Blueberry!”

• Daddy was talking about people’s names and he asked Andrew what he calls me, “Daddy calls Mommy on the phone!”

• Andrew was put in his crib one day for whining and was told that we would come talk to him when he had settled down. After a few seconds we could hear him calling out, “Daddy, I’m done whining now!”

• We did video chat with my grandparents in Ohio one afternoon and I explained to him about how they live in Ohio and we are going to go see them. Then I asked if he remembered his Mimi. I told him that Mimi was my mommy but that she lives in Heaven now with Jesus. He thought for a minute and said, “Oh, Mimi’s with Uncle Kevin!”

• In response to almost any question asked his current thing is to start with, “Um, actually….”

Until about a month ago Joshua hardly ever said things. We have him clap his hands to say, “please” and “more” but other than that he didn’t have much interest in talking. But the past few weeks we have noticed him saying more and more words. Joshua at 16 months old says ~

• sshhhsss (shoes)

• bye bye

• Papa (he uses this for Spencer’s grandpa and my grandpa)

• peeshhh (please)

• when asked what a duck says he can respond with, “caak, caak!”

• obaaa (obey)

• he will imitate any funny noises we make like blowing his lips or making a “roar” if we are talking about lions or tigers

I am sure that in a year he will be saying some funny things just like his big brother! There are sure to be many funny quotes to share with three little boys in the house!

I took these pictures today after naps. The boys both sleep with a blanket and a sippy cup with water for nighttime and naps. But sometimes the end up with multiple blankets and/or sippy cups in the bed. What cracks me up is that when I go into get them they both insist on bringing everything out with them, Andrew is usually standing there with an armload of stuff waiting to be picked up. Today when I was getting Joshua he was sitting down with a sippy in each arm staring at his two blankets trying to figure out how he was going to carry those too! I just laughed as I threw a blanket over each of his shoulders and hoisted him and all his loot out of bed! haha

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Play Time

Jul 25, 2010 by

A few weeks ago we bought a trailer to tote the kids around behind my bike, also know as our buggy. This week I took the boys on a ride so Lindsay could run some errands without two little rug rats in-tow. Andrew loves to see school buses (Joshua does too he just can say “school bus” yet). So my plan was to go down the street and ride by the school buses at Bradenton Christian School then go to GT Bray to enjoy the park. After looking at the school buses we turned around and were on our way to the park. Before leaving BCS I was curious to see if the playground was open so we rode on the sidwalk to the gate. The gate was open! Why ride to GT Bray when there was a playground right here, right? So I parked the buggy and we went to play. After playing for a couple minutes of playing I saw it.

IMG_0770The dragon with a little orange hat. Instantly had I flashbacks to my early school days. While much of the playground has changed over the years there are a couple pieces of equipment still there  from when I was in elementary school. One of those pieces is the dragon, actually I think its a snake or maybe the loch ness monster, but I will call it a dragon. I won’t say how many years have passed since my elementary school days but let’s just say that I have already had my 10 year high school reunion, a few years ago…

When I saw the dragon face my mind was filled with memories of this old playground. It’s not something I think of often but the dragon triggered memories of recesses playing on that equipment. Equipment I drive past every week but haven’t stopped to notice for over a decade. It’s great to remember the days when being able to run around outside for 15 minutes was all you needed to have a great day.  A little dirt and sweat before going back to the air conditioned classroom for the afternoon. Oh, and there is nothing better than air conditioning after playing hard. It didn’t matter how hot it was we just wanted to get out an be free. Adults seem to always be concerned with the weather, but as kids we don’t care, we just want to PLAY!

While we were there I captured a little video. You can probably guess the equipment I use to play on. Enjoy.

Spencer

Updated with a little less shaky version

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My Mom’s House

Apr 18, 2010 by

On October 16, 2009 my Mom passed away after a year long battle with brain cancer. She was a woman that cherished her kids, worked hard, loved the Lord more than anything, and had a LOT of stuff! The past few days were full of memories, funny stories and a few tears. We had so much fun going through every cupboard, drawer and cabinet in the house we grew up in finding everything that Mom had saved through the years. I found myself wanting to keep everything I found that was special to me, but knew that it was just something that would sit in my closets, so I thought it would be better to take pictures and keep those instead.

In the upstairs of our house we had a cedar chest for as long as I can remember. It held  sheets, blankets and special items that Mom wanted to keep. In there we found a few funny things. First we have our Minnie Mouse suspenders. I don’t know who got them for us, but I do know that Em and I proudly sported them with bright yellow turtlenecks. The elastic was breaking and so unfortunately there won’t be any future little girls making this fashion statement!

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Next we have Nicholas’ beloved pajamas! If you can read the note it says “Nicholas 5 – FAVORITE pajamas, 1997-1998.” These pj’s started out as long pants and were turned into shorts after the knees were too worn out. As you can see, almost every seam is falling apart, I am pretty sure the kid was heartbroken when Mom told him it was time to retire them!

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Em and I modeling snowsuits….very attractive, I know!

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These are four of my favorite games from growing up. Did anyone else have the Discovery games and books?

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After a long morning of hard work we took a break to enjoy a Wilson’s hamburgs and a frosty. Some of us my or  may not have had two frosty’s :)

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This was the traditional Rarey kid first Halloween costume. Don’t I look like a real pumpkin?

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These ornaments have been on our tree for as long as I remember. My Mom made the cross-stitch ones and her and my Dad painted the ceramic ones for their first Christmas together.

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Now, this was my absolute favorite part of our trip, going through the old clothes my Mom made for us. My Mom was an amazing seamstress. The details on these clothes just blow me away, I hope that someday I am half as talented as she was. Miss Caroline has some beautiful dresses to grow into and I hope someday I will have a little girl to put in them as well!

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Here I am modeling one of Mom’s dresses that she made for herself.

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I was a thumb sucker from the very beginning, I would suck my thumb and hold my Care Bear blankie on my face. I remember driving through the parking lot at The Pharm (a local supermarket) and my Mom told me I could keep my blankie or keep sucking my thumb! (Obviously I was probably too old for either since I remember!)

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These are our “special” plates. The silver one says “You Are Special Today.” Mom always got that plate out for us to eat on for our birthday’s and other special events. The other plates are ones that we made when we were little, I was quite the artist!

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This little lamb can wind up and play “Mary Had  a Little Lamb.” It was the day after Matthew was born and Emily and I were eating at Cracker Barrel with Dad before we went to pick up Mommy and our new little brother. We were sitting next to an older couple and were so excited to tell them our news. After they ate they went to the gift shop, bought this lamb and told us to take it to our new baby. It’s been around for almost 20 years!

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Who new that you could have a memory of Tupperware? Well the green bowl is what Mom always made her Cauliflower salad in, the big white one held a triple batch of cookies when company was coming, and the pitcher is what we made jello in.

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While we were working in the kitchen Emily was cleaning out the pots and pans and pulled out this red and white pot and asked, “What does this remind you of?” In unison we said, “hard boiled eggs!” My mom only used this pot for boiling eggs and nothing else, why I don’t know, but we all remember it!

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Em and I took ballet for years starting when we were three and these are our ballet slippers. As you can see we would continue to wear them for dress up and they got pretty worn out! I also found a box with all of our old dance costumes but didn’t take a picture. It was so sweet when we were having the garage sale on Saturday there was a little girl about four years old begging her mom to buy the dresses, I hope they will provide her with hours of dress up fun just like they did for us!

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These hillbilly teeth were not a special memory for us, but they did give everyone a good laugh while we were working, my Mom would be so proud of her beautiful children!

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The one thing I wanted to do was take one last picture of all of us kids at the house. We have lots of good memories there and hope that the next family that buys the house will make memories too!

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It’s a Love Story

Mar 6, 2010 by

Sunday, March 6, 2005 – I woke up to look out my window and see palm trees. I got ready for church and off we went. I didn’t know anyone but the person that I came with, so I sat with her right on the front row. I’m sure people were wondering who the girl with the pastor’s wife was. After service she introduced me to Steve, the student ministries pastor, who politely invited me to a bonfire later that night. I thought to myself,


“Thanks, but probably not, I would be way too uncomfortable, but then again this whole situation should have be a little bit uncomfortable.”

It’s amazing what you find yourself doing when you ask God to lead you.

Let me back up a minute.

Earlier that week I was a 19 year old freshman in college, living at home, working as a bank teller. I was lost but wanted desperately to be found. For the last few years of high school and most of my first year of college I had been living for myself. I had disregarded all I knew that was right and tried to do life on my own. I was in and out of bad relationships, bad friendships and making bad decisions. In January of 2005 my boyfriend at the time broke up with me, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I finally got to the point where I was tired of lying to myself. I had tried to make myself happy and had failed miserably. So I begged the Lord to take back control, and He did.

Earlier in that first week of March I told my Mom that I wanted to get away for Spring Break. I had no one to go with, not much money and zero ideas. She mentioned her friends that lived in Florida. I was very cautious at first, these people were old friends, but we hadn’t actually seen them in 16 years. The husband was a pastor and his wife a teacher, but did I really want to go a strange town and stay for a week with people I didn’t even know?

She was sure they would be happy to have me. She called them up and they said, “Send her on down!” So I bought a plane ticket, packed my bags and off I went to stay with people I hardly knew in a place I had never been!

Now, back to my story. After church we went to lunch on the beach. There was great food, and great company all in the most beautiful setting!

Later that evening the family I was staying with was hosting their small group at their house, they said I was more than welcome to stay but that I would probably have a better time at the bonfire. As I was leaving for the bonfire the first couple in their small group arrived, Ron and Alecia. Alecia mentioned that two of their sons would be at the bonfire, and to look for Travis and Spencer. She also mentioned that I might want a sweater, but who packs a sweater to come to Florida? :-)

When I arrived back at the church Steve and his wife Erin were just setting up, we talked and others started to arrive. I met Travis and Spencer and made small talk, but mostly with Travis. I think Spencer maybe talked to me twice, I just assumed he was very quiet or really snobby!

Monday, March 7, 2005 I had spent the day out and about and was back at the house. I had made dinner for the family I was staying with and they were asking about my plans for the night. I told them I had no plans and they told their son he should help me find something to do. The next thing I know their son comes out of his room with the phone and hands it to me.

“It’s Spencer.”

“What?”

“You said you needed something to do, and I was on IM with Spencer and he said he would do something with you.”

At this point my heart was racing, my hands were sweating, my face was all red and I didn’t know what to do, should I talk to him…he didn’t seem to like me much the night before, maybe I could just hang up on him.

I reluctantly took the phone, I mean this was the guy that hardly spoke to me the night before, how awkward would it be to be alone with him? Besides, I didn’t know the guy, he could be a crazy killer!

“Hello?”

“I heard you needed something to do tonight, we could go see a movie or something.”

“Um, yea, do you think a group of people would want to go with us?” (Since I don’t know you and don’t really want to be alone with you!!)

“Well, let me find out and I will give you a call back.”

Ring ring

“Hello?”

“I talked to some people but no one could do anything.”

“Ok, well I guess if you want to do something we can, maybe we can just rent a movie and bring it back here.”

“Ok, see you in a bit.”

At this point I was seriously on the verge of tears, I was scared, I was nervous, I was a mess. I told the son that since he got me into this mess that he was going to have to watch a movie with us once we got back from the video store!

Well Spencer arrived and we went to the movie theater and I said that there wasn’t anything I really wanted to see, but renting a movie would be fine. We got our movie, went back to the house and much to my surprise he was not at all the snob or the psycho I though he was :-) I can’t even tell you what movie we watched because we talked through the whole thing. At the end of the night he left me his phone number so I could call him if I needed something to do another night :-)

Tuesday, March 8, 2005 – After being out for the whole day I got back to the house to see a note taped to my door that said, “Call Spencer before 11.” My heart went pitter-pat and I looked at the clock, it was 10:45pm. I immediately grabbed my phone and called my mom.

“Mom, Spencer called and wants me to call him back, what should I do?”

“Call him, honey!”

“Ok, I’ll call him and call you right back.”

“Hello?”

“Hi, Spencer! I had a note to call you.”

“Yea, I was wondering if I could take you to dinner at the beach on Thursday night. I have ultimate frisbee that night too and you can come if you want.”

“That sounds like fun, I’ll see you then.”

Not only did we go out on Thursday, but we went out on Wednesday and Friday too! Thursday night after dinner, ultimate frisbee and a movie we had our very first kiss. I can honestly say that night I knew that Spencer was going to be my husband. I don’t know why, I just knew.

Friday came and it was time for me to go back to Ohio. It just so happened that two weeks later Spencer was coming to Indiana for his college roommates wedding and we made plans for me to meet him there and then bring him back to Ohio to meet my family. We dated from Ohio to Florida for about 5 months until I moved to Florida with my family. We were engaged on October 15, 2005 and in December of 2005 I moved into his parents house and started planning our June wedding.

On June 17, 2006 I married the man of my dreams and my best friend. I am still amazed when I think of how greatly God blessed me when he brought Spencer into my life. He is a man of character and integrity and he showed me what true love was. God used Spencer to show me that even though I had made mistakes and tried to do things on my own that He still had a plan for me and I still had value in His eyes.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
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Sweet Memory

Feb 2, 2010 by

I stumbled across this picture today, hadn’t seen it in awhile and it just brought back some sweet memories


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